If Tomorrow Doesn't Come by Jen St. Jude

 Pages: 368

 Publisher: Penguin 

 Released: 11th of May 2023 

We Are Okaymeets They Both Die at the End in this YA debut about queer first love and mental health at the end of the world-and the importance of saving yourself, no matter what tomorrow may hold.

Avery Byrne has secrets. She's queer; she's in love with her best friend, Cass; and she's suffering from undiagnosed clinical depression. But on the morning Avery plans to jump into the river near her college campus, the world discovers there are only nine days left to live: an asteroid is headed for Earth, and no one can stop it.

Trying to spare her family and Cass additional pain, Avery does her best to make it through just nine more days. As time runs out and secrets slowly come to light, Avery would do anything to save the ones she loves. But most importantly, she learns to save herself. Speak her truth. Seek the support she needs. Find hope again in the tomorrows she has left.

If Tomorrow Doesn't Come is a celebration of queer love, a gripping speculative narrative, and an urgent, conversation-starting book about depression, mental health, and shame.

TW: Attempted Suicide 

What I Have to Say 

I really enjoyed this book, but the trigger warnings were not up to scratch. I was really glad I'm not triggered by suicide anymore because the opening which shows her about to commit suicide was definitely more than the "discussions of suicide" that the trigger warning implied. I would really recommended that anyone who is currently suicidal or is still in a fragile state skips the entire first chapter. 

The story was beautiful though. I was worried it would be too much of showing her how to live again, but it was a lot more subtle than that. The romance between Cass and Avery was so sweet and tragic and I wanted to read it forever. 

I loved the flashbacks as well. It was nice seeing the story of Cass and Avery build up and grow. 

This was a very sad book and had a lot of comments on society and religion, but I really enjoyed reading it. It was the kind of sad that makes an impact on you and you remember for a very long time. 

4 stars 

My thanks goes to Netgalley and Penguin for providing me with this gifted copy for review. 

Every Exquisite Thing by Laura Steven

Pages: 326 

Publisher: Electric Monkey 

Released: 14th of September 2023 

A feminist YA horror-thriller-romance retelling of The Picture of Dorian Gray by the TikTok sensation and author of The Society for Soulless Girls… 

Penny Paxton is the daughter of an icon. Her supermodel mother has legions of adoring fans around the world, and Penny is ready to begin her journey to international adoration, starting with joining the elite Dorian Drama School. 

When Penny’s new mentor offers her an opportunity she cannot refuse, to have a portrait painted by a mysterious artist who can grant immortal beauty to all his subjects, Penny happily follows in the footsteps of Dorian’s most glittering alumni, knowing that stardom is sure to soon be hers. 

But when her trusted mentor is found murdered, Penny realises she’s made a terrible mistake – a sinister someone is using the uncanny portraits to kill off the subjects one by one. As more perfectly beautiful students start to fall, Penny knows her time is running out . . . A seductive and searing exploration of beauty, identity, and what the pursuit of perfection can truly cost.

TW: Eating disorder, Death, Mental illness

What I Have to Say 

I much preferred this to Society of Soulless Girls. I wasn't going to read another Laura Steven's book after how the first one went, but the fact that it was a retelling of Dorian Gray swayed me. I'm really glad I picked this one up because a lot of the problems I had with Society, I didn't have with this one. The ending was satisfying and thrilling, the characters were interesting and intriguing and I really liked the romance. 

I haven't read Dorian Gray, I only know the story from various retellings over the years, so I don't know how close to the original tale it was, but I really enjoyed the suspense over who the masked painter was and who was killing off the people in the paintings. 

I also really liked the modern day twists with the alopecia and the eating disorders. It was a commentary on our society and what it's like the be a women living today with all the pressures put upon us. It was a really fitting theme to have in the book. 

Overall I enjoyed it. Definitely try this one even if you hated Society of Soulless Girls because it's way better. 

 

The Sharp Edge of Silence by Cameron Kelly Rosenblum

Pages: 496 

Publisher: Hot Key Books 

Released: 11th of April 2023 

Students at Lycroft Phelps are marked for success.

As a straight-A student and girlfriend of the school's star rower, Charlotte believes in what the school has to offer. Meanwhile, scholarship student Max is struggling. Until he's asked to join the rowing team offering him popularity - but at what cost? Then there's Quinn, a sixth-generation legacy student, who should be able to lay claim to the school in a way others can't. Who instead must watch the boy who assaulted her continue to play at the top of the school's food chain. Only in the dead of night does Q realize the solution to her suffering: Colin Pearce must die.

But Lycroft Phelps has more than one dark secret at its heart, and as the three students uncover just how far the school will go to keep those ugly truths hidden, there's a lot more than reputation at stake...

TW: Misogyny, panic attacks/ disorders, rape 

What I Have to Say 

I will never get tired of reading books about girls bringing down the system and getting revenge on boys for all the shit they put us through. The only downside was how long it took to actually get to the plot of bringing down the system. It felt like there was a lot of set up with the different relationships and the crew team. I don't know if anything could have been taken out, because a huge part of the plot was Max getting caught up in the crew team and that was very necessary, but it just slowed down the book a lot. 

I wasn't sure at first about having a male voice in a book about rape, but I really really liked Max's POV. I think it really added a lot to the book. Because it showed how boys, even boys who know better, can be pulled into the toxic masculinity and become part of it. It was good to see one of the "good ones" and how easy it can be to stand by and not stop things like this from happening. 

In all, I think this was handled really well. I liked how the emphasis wasn't on the rape. The rape had happened before the book even started and was only shown in flashbacks. The emphasis was on the fall out and how to stop it happening again. 

Definitely on my list of best feminist reads of all time. 

4 stars 

My thanks goes to Netgalley and Hot Key Books for providing me with this copy for review. 

Lily's Just Fine by Gill Stewart

 

Pages: 320

Publisher: Sweet Cherry Publishing

Released: 11th of June 2019 

Lily couldn’t have planned life better herself. She lives in the best house in town and she’s dating the most popular boy in school. Everything else she can fix. Mum’s apathy? On it! The stuffy gala committee? Watch this space!

Tom has enough on his plate without trying to drag Newton St Cuthbert into the 21st Century. His sister is sick and there’s nothing anyone can do. Not doctors, not his parents, and certainly not Lily Hildebrand.

Sail away this summer with the unexpected romance of Scotland's most determined teenager.

What I Have to Say 

This book was lovely, such a comfort read even with the issues that the main characters had. Mostly I loved the set of characters. The main character would probably be a bit annoying if you knew her in real life but it was really fun to see her friends rolling their eyes, but going along with her latest scheme. It was clear that they loved her because she was like this not despite it. 

I thought it was a very good example of the coping strategy people have where they throw themselves into something so that they don't have to deal with their problems. It really showed exactly why that's a bad idea. 

It also showed the strain of being a teen carer. Having to care for her mum while she was only a teenager herself. I hope spreads some awareness of real life teens who are in similar situations. 

My thanks go to Netgalley and Sweet Cherry Publishing for providing me with this copy for review. 

Meat Market by Juno Dawson

Synopsis (from Goodreads) 

Pages: 416 

Publisher: Quercus Children's Books 

Released: 23rd of May 2019 

Jana Novak's history sounds like a classic model cliché: tall and gangly, she's uncomfortable with her androgynous looks until she's unexpectedly scouted and catapulted to superstardom.

But the fashion industry is as grimy as it is glamorous. And there are unexpected predators at every turn.

Jana is an ordinary girl from a south London estate, lifted to unimaginable heights. But the further you rise, the more devastating your fall ...

Honest and raw, this is a timely exposé of the dark underbelly of the fashion industry in an era of #TimesUp and #MeToo. It might just be Juno Dawson's most important book yet.

Trigger Warnings: sexual abuse, anorexia, bulimia, mentions of prostitution, drug use, anxiety, depression

What I Have to Say 

This book. Oh. This book. It gave me chills, it was so good. Dawson is an expert at combining a fairly casual style full of quirky metaphors and tons of pop culture metaphors with topics that are gritty and real and so, so dark. This book delves deep into the dark world of the fashion industry and does it in a way that gives you an enjoyable reading experience while still getting the point across in a way that makes you want to stand up and take action. 

I loved the way that Dawson was upfront about the darkness of the book from the start. How she put the foreshadowing front and centre, making it clear that this wasn't going to be a fairytale model story, but that things would get dark and that Jana would end up hurt. It added a creepy sense of foreboding to the whole thing and led me to pick up little things right from the start that showed the industry's core and the lies of those in charge of Jana's agency. 

Dawson also did a fantastic job of treating the issue at hand with respect and sensitivity, showing real, raw emotions without doing it to solely to shock and disturb the reader. 

My thanks go to Quercus and Netgalley for providing me with this free copy for review. 

The Year After You by Nina de Pass

Synopsis (from Goodreads) 

Pages: 352

Publisher: Ink Road 

Released: 14th of February 2019 

New Years’ Eve, San Francisco. The most promising party of the year ends in a tragic accident. Cara survives. Her best friend Georgina doesn’t.

Nine months later, Cara is struggling, consumed by guilt and grief. Her mum decides a Swiss boarding school will be the fresh start Cara needs. But Cara knows that swapping sunshine for snow won’t make a blind bit of difference. Georgina is gone, and nothing will bring her back.

Up in the Alps, Cara’s old life feels a million miles away. At Hope Hall, nobody knows about her past. And she intends to keep it that way. But classmates Ren and Hector have other ideas. Cara tries to keep her distance, but she’s drawn to the offbeat, straight-talking Hector, who understands her grief better than anyone. Her new friends are determined to break down the walls she has so carefully built up. And, despite it all, Cara wants them to. 

The closer Cara grows to Hector, the more Georgina slips away. Embracing life at Hope Hall means letting go of the past; of her memories of that fatal New Year’s Eve. But Cara is quite sure she doesn’t deserve a second chance. 

What I Have to Say 

Exploring the themes of grief, loss and survivors guilt, this touching novel explores how deep the damage of losing someone in an accident can be. It deals heavily with the responsibility that someone can attribute to themselves when something like this happens and how moving on can feel like betraying the person you lost. 

The best thing about this book for me was how it showed that fears can sometimes not seem logical to an outside viewpoint. Cara is terrified of going in lifts and cars, because her mind tells her that if it crashes then it's her responsibility because she got in the car. This is the way that the mind can twist things based on past experiences, but de Pass when deeper, exploring the fact Cara is completely fine with planes. I've experienced this kind of logic in my own condition with my OCD a lot. People don't understand why this is fine but /this/ isn't. It's something that's hard to understand. So it made me feel really understood to see a similar twisting of logic and fear shown in The Year After You. 

I loved Cara so much as a character. I loved her interactions with Hector and with Ren. It was heartbreaking to see her story and the way that her fears and grief from the past controlled her. It all felt very real and well thought out. 

There's so much more I haven't said in this review, but these are the parts that really touched me.  I really, really recommend getting a copy and seeing Cara's story for yourself. 

My thanks go to Ink Road and Netgalley for providing me with this free copy for review. 

A Danger to Herself and Others by Alyssa Sheinmel

Synopsis (from Goodreads) 

Pages: 352 

Publisher: Atom 

Released: 5th of February 2019 

Only when she's locked away does the truth begin to escape...

Seventeen-year-old Hannah Gold has always been treated like a grown up. As the only child of two New York professionals, she's been traveling the world and functioning as a miniature adult since the day she was born. But that was then. Now, Hannah has been checked into a remote treatment facility, stripped of all autonomy and confined to a single room.

Hannah knows there's been a mistake. What happened to her roommate that summer was an accident. As soon as the doctor and judge figure out that she isn't a danger to herself or others, she can get back to her life of promise and start her final year at school. Until then, she's determined to win over the staff and earn some privileges so she doesn't lose her mind to boredom.

But then she's assigned a new roommate. At first, Lucy is the perfect project to keep Hannah's focus off all she is missing at home. But Lucy may be the one person who can make Hannah confront the secrets she's avoiding - and the dangerous games that landed her in confinement in the first place.

Trigger Warnings: Mental Health, hallucinations, mental health facility, eating disorder 

What I Have to Say 

What I was hoping for from the blurb was a manipulative game playing girl toying with the people around her (because I love those types of stories), but this book was so much more than that. I didn't get to indulge my passion for reading about mean girls doing bad things, but I did get to read a story about a girl with very real mental health difficulties and how they can hurt people around her. 

This isn't a story about a killer who is absolved of blame by mental health difficulties. This isn't Psycho where they weave in a disorder to make what happens even more frightening. This is a story about a girl. An average girl, who does something bad and is taken to a hospital in order to keep her and the people around her safe. 

This is a girl who can't even admit to what she's done. And this story is her coming to terms with what happened and her new diagnosis. The whole thing was very well done, it made me feel so much sympathy for Hannah while also not excusing what she did to Agnes. I really liked the way that it was told and how it was written. 

This book has twists, it has drama, but it's not out to shock the reader in the way that a lot of sensationalist writers tell stories of this kind. It was great to see something that was written in a much more sensitive and realistic way. 

My thanks go to Netgalley and Atom for providing me with this free copy for review. 

The Silent Patient by Alex Michealides

Synopsis (from Goodreads) 

Pages: 320 

Publisher: Orion 

Released: 7th of February 2019 

Alicia Berenson’s life is seemingly perfect. A famous painter married to an in-demand fashion photographer, she lives in a grand house with big windows overlooking a park in one of London’s most desirable areas. One evening her husband Gabriel returns home late from a fashion shoot, and Alicia shoots him five times in the face, and then never speaks another word.

Alicia’s refusal to talk, or give any kind of explanation, turns a domestic tragedy into something far grander, a mystery that captures the public imagination and casts Alicia into notoriety. The price of her art skyrockets, and she, the silent patient, is hidden away from the tabloids and spotlight at the Grove, a secure forensic unit in North London.

Theo Faber is a criminal psychotherapist who has waited a long time for the opportunity to work with Alicia. His determination to get her to talk and unravel the mystery of why she shot her husband takes him down a twisting path into his own motivations—a search for the truth that threatens to consume him....

What I Have to Say 

This book was an incredibly wild ride. A good one for the most part, but the ending kind of disturbed me a bit. If you like that sort of disturbing thriller, then that's fair enough, but I found it rather creepy. I don't want to give it away too much, but I feel like the way that power was abused was just a bit much for me. 

I also felt like the handling of mental health was a bit off. For psychotherapist, working with mental illness, the narrator, Theo talked rather a lot about seeing "madness" in people. Including himself. This felt kind of insensitive. I can maybe put some of it down to the character, but it's hard to say. It's just not okay to talk about people with mental illness being mad or having madness inside them. We can joke about it in relation to ourselves, but this was different. This just felt more offensive. 

The plot was really gripping though. From the first page, I was entranced by this book, speeding through it to find out. It was definitely written to engross and intrigue the reader. 

Definitely a page-turner, but some of it made me really uncomfortable. 

 My thanks go to Orion for providing me with this free copy for review. 

No Fixed Address by Susin Nielsen

Synopsis (from Goodreads) 

Pages: 288

Publisher: Anderson

Released: 4th of October 2018 

Felix Knutsson is nearly thirteen, lives with his mother and pet gerbil Horatio, and is brilliant at memorising facts and trivia. So far, pretty normal. But Felix and his mom Astrid have a secret: they are living in a van. Astrid promises it’s only for a while until she finds a new job, and begs Felix not to breathe a word about it. So when Felix starts at a new school, he does his very best to hide the fact that most of his clothes are in storage, he only showers weekly at the community centre, and that he doesn’t have enough to eat. When his friends Dylan and Winnie ask to visit, Felix always has an excuse.

But Felix has a plan to turn his and Astrid’s lives around: he’s going to go on his favourite game show Who, What, Where, When and win the cash prize. All he needs is a little luck and a lot of brain power . . .

What I Have to Say

This was basically an Canadian version of Slumdog Millionaire for kids. Felix is a optimistic teenager who just wants to save him and his mum  through the junior edition of his favourite game show! It's a great blend of hope, friendship and real life issues. 

Living in a van with his single mum, Astrid, Felix has a lot of struggles. I can't remember if it was stated specifically that Astrid had bipolar or if it was something that I read into it, but it definitely dealt with her going into depressive slumps and Felix having to look after her. Spending most of the time trying to hide from the questions of friends, teachers and anyone else who might report them to the authorities (something that Astrid is terrified of due to her own bad experiences in the past), Felix has to get through life and school and friendships without anyone finding out he lives out of a van. It's amazing that Nielson managed to squeeze so many real life issues into one book so completely naturally. 

I loved the bond between Felix and his friends. He had such a great friendship with Dylan that he could so easily pick up after so many years, but the best thing was how Winnie just inserted herself in the group through shear force of will. Winnie was a great character who is definitely the sort of person who everyone hates at school, but the friendship still worked once Felix and Dylan just accepted that they wouldn't be able to get away from her. She proved herself to be such a great friend to Felix and shows that the most unexpected friends can be the best. 

This is an important book and also a thrilling on. It is fun to read while still hitting the hard issues without shying away. Definitely a book to pick up this year. 

My thanks go to Netgalley and Anderson for providing me with this copy for review. 

That's Not What Happened by Kody Keplinger

Synopsis (from Goodreads) 

Pages: 384

Publisher: Hodder Children's Books 

Released: 28th of August 2018

It's been three years since the Virgil County High School Massacre. Three years since my best friend, Sarah, was killed in a bathroom stall during the mass shooting. Everyone knows Sarah's story--that she died proclaiming her faith. 

But it's not true. 

I know because I was with her when she died. I didn't say anything then, and people got hurt because of it. Now Sarah's parents are publishing a book about her, so this might be my last chance to set the record straight . . . but I'm not the only survivor with a story to tell about what did--and didn't--happen that day. 

Except Sarah's martyrdom is important to a lot of people, people who don't take kindly to what I'm trying to do. And the more I learn, the less certain I am about what's right. I don't know what will be worse: the guilt of staying silent or the consequences of speaking up . . .

What I Have to Say 

An interesting read with Keplinger exploring a whole new side of the school shooting narrative, showing the survivors three years on, all with different versions and secrets about what happened that day in their school. 

To start with, I don't think anyone has done a narrative about the survivors so long after the shooting. I found it really interesting to see how they'd got on with their lives and the coping strategies they had taken to help them get through the trauma of it all. It showed how long these things linger around, but also how the survivors have gotten on with their lives, finishing school and going to university. In a lot of stories, the narrative stops before this can really be shown, so you don't see much of the survivors going back to their lives and moving on. 

I also really liked the fact that the name of the shooter was never stated. It was a powerful move and a powerful comment about how in this sort of situation, the shooter ends up getting talked about more than anyone else. How the victims are overshadowed by people trying to explain away the motives with stories of bullying. This is a story that puts the story into the survivors hands. It's told by them and either though they each have different truths, different recollections of the events, it is clear that it's their story. 

It was a sad story in many ways, showing the trauma, the effect on the community and the grieving of the families, but it also is incredibly interesting and political, going deep into issues that I haven't ever seen addressed in fiction before. The way they've gone into the way the media can change what happens when it tells the story for various reasons and the effect that can have on the survivors who's voices have been taken away. 

This is definitely a story that will give you a lot to think about. 

My thanks go to Netgalley and Hodder for providing me with this copy for review. 

Floored by Sara Banard, Holly Bourne, Tanya Bynre, Non Pratt, Melinda Salisbury, Lisa Williamson and Eleanor Wood

Synopsis (from Goodreads)

Pages: 320 

Publisher: 12th of July 2018

Released: Macmillan Children's Books

When they got in the lift, they were strangers (though didn't that guy used to be on TV?): Sasha, who is desperately trying to deliver a parcel; Hugo, who knows he's the best-looking guy in the lift and is eyeing up Velvet, who knows what that look means when you hear her name and it doesn't match the way she looks, or the way she talks; Dawson, who was on TV, but isn't as good-looking as he was a few years ago and is desperately hoping no one recognizes him; Kaitlyn, who's losing her sight but won't admit it, and who used to have a poster of Dawson on her bedroom wall, and Joe, who shouldn't be here at all, but who wants to be here the most.

And one more person, who will bring them together again on the same day every year.

What I Have to Say 

This was always going to be the big release of the summer. Six amazing authors coming together to write a story from six viewpoints (seven if you include the omniscient narrator who pops up from time to time) and it didn't disappoint. It was everything I expected from the authors pulled together in a seamlessly created story. 

I loved each of the characters and how different they were from one another, each facing a different set of problems and anxieties and having to get through life. All the characters were beautiful and real but I think my favourites were probably Kaitlyn, Velvet and Hugo (from love to hate to actually quite like! What a journey!). Kaitlyn was so awesome and badass with an interesting journey throughout the novel. Velvet so much the contrast, so shy and insecure, watching her go through her struggles and come out of the other side having grown as a person. And Hugo, the one everyone loves, because he's a very different perspective from the others. The privilege prick who for most of the novel you want to smack, in a good way! 

If I had to criticise it would be that there really wasn't enough time with each character for the amount of time the novel covers. Six whole years of their lives (and very changeable ones at that. It would have been nice to have had a longer novel and to have seen more of their lives. 

I thought long and hard about which author was writing which characters, especially since I know their writing styles pretty well, but it's just so hard to tell! 

My guesses though... 

Hugo - Melinda Salisbury. I don't know why. I just feel like it's her. 

Velvet - I think maybe Holly Bourne or Non Pratt. Maybe Tanya Byrne or Sara Barnard

Joe - I would say maybe Lisa Williamson. Maybe Non Pratt. Really hard to tell with this one. 

Kaitlyn - I really feel Non for this one. Or Holly. Maybe Sara. I could also see her as Tanya. 

Sasha - Sasha could have been anyone. I didn't even get a sense of who she could be from the writing style 

Dawson - Dawson is another one who could have been a bunch of people. I could see Mel but my biggest guess for her is still Hugo. He feels a bit like Holly. Or Non. Or Lisa. Or Sara. 

So I'm gonna go 

Hugo- Mel,

Velvet - Sara 

Joe- Lisa,

Kaitlyn - Non, 

Sasha -Tanya ,

Dawson-  Holly

So any guesses? I can't wait to see who was who. 

My thanks go to Netgalley and Macmillan to provide me with this copy for review.

Boy Underwater by Adam Baron

Synopsis (from Goodreads) 

Pages: 256

Publisher: Harper Collins Children's Books 

Released: 1st of June 2018 

Cymbeline (yes, really!) has never been swimming – not ever, not once – so he’s a bit nervous at the prospect of his first school swimming lesson ever. But how hard could it be? He’s Googled front crawl and he’s found his dad’s old pair of trunks. He’s totally ready for this.

But he’s not ready for an accident at the pool to reveal a family mystery that turns his life completely upside down. Only Cym and his friends can solve it because, as usual, the grown-ups aren’t telling them anything.

For the answers you really need, sometimes you have to go deep..

What I Have to Say 

This was so much better than it sounded from the blurb. I'd been hearing a lot of how great it was, so I thought it was worth a read and I'm so, so happy that I went for it because despite the stupid name and the ridiculous attempted to try and learn how to swim from the internet (I mean seriously, he just seemed to be way too dumb for his age). But they had a really super smart girl to contrast him, showing how kids can be smart and maybe it's just that there's a range of different intelligence. 

The mystery part was amazing. With his mother disappearing, his dad out of the picture and this mysterious connection to swimming and water that no one will ever talk about. Add in Cym and his friends and it makes a nice crack team of child investigators ready to solve this mystery. 

The conclusion was brilliant. I loved how it all came together and how dramatic it was. A fantastic mystery with great characters for any fan of children's books. 

My thanks go to Netgalley and Harper Collins  for providing me with this copy for review. 

Clean by Juno Dawson

Synopsis (from Goodreads) 

Pages: 399

Publisher: Quercus Children's Books 

Released: 5th of April 2018 

I can feel it swimming through my veins like glitter ... it's liquid gold.

When socialite Lexi Volkov almost overdoses, she thinks she's hit rock bottom.

She's wrong. Rock bottom is when she's forced into an exclusive rehab facility.

From there, the only way is up for Lexi and her fellow inmates, including the mysterious Brady.

As she faces her demons, Lexi realises love is the most powerful drug of all ... 

It's a dirty business getting clean ... 

What I Have to Say 

With every book she writes, Juno Dawson reaches new heights. She's long been one of the top writers in the UK YA book scene, but every time I pick up a book by her, she surprises me with just how amazing her writing is. Hers are books that sweep you away and take you on adventures that can be so far removed, but also extremely relatable to your own life. And even while anticipating the thrill of reading her latest book, nothing prepares you for what you'll encounter. 

Clean was a gritty, relatable and an extremely wild ride. Dawson pulled no punches in describing everything awful about recovery and drug addiction, but also introduced us to a sensitive and lost girl, who just needs to find her place in the world. The layers of Lexi's personality, from spoilt, drug-addicted heiress to the determined, caring girl beneath were detailed and constantly surprising. From not thinking I would like Lexi much, I found that I was rooting for her withing a few chapters. Because it is impossible not to want this girl to succeed. 

I loved the range of other characters as well. The exclusive rehab island offered up a lot of potential for different characters there for different types of therapy and treatment, from all types of addiction to bullimia and anorexia. It gave the background cast of Lexi's story life and diversity and a small glimpse of other issues. 

It would be great to have a sequel. I want to see what becomes of Lexi after the ending of the book. It would perhaps be interesting to delve into the story of a different person on the island receiving treatment and have Lexi as a background character. 

Whether there's any more Lexi in our future or not, I cannot wait to see what Juno brings us next. 

My thanks go to Netgalley and Quercus for providing me with this copy for review. 

I Was Born For This by Alice Oseman

Synopsis (from Goodreads) 

Pages: 400 

Publisher: Harper Collins Children's Books  

Released: 3rd of May 2018

For Angel Rahimi, life is only about one thing: The Ark – a pop-rock trio of teenage boys who are currently taking the world by storm. Being part of The Ark’s fandom has given her everything – her friendships, her dreams, her place in the world.

Jimmy Kaga-Ricci owes everything to The Ark too. He’s their frontman – and playing in a band is all he’s ever dreamed of doing. It’s just a shame that recently everything in his life seems to have turned into a bit of a nightmare.

Because that’s the problem with dreaming – eventually, inevitably, real life arrives with a wake-up call. And when Angel and Jimmy are unexpectedly thrust together, they will discover just how strange and surprising facing up to reality can be.

What I Have to Say 

Alice Oseman has proved once again that she writes great books, books that challenge perceptions and bring important issues to light. This book was a very insightful look on Fandom and the different sides of it. I felt she really showed all the different sides of fandom, the perception of it from outside, from inside, the different types of fans and some of the more worrying reasons that people turn to fandom. She managed to write a book that showed what goes in inside the heads of superfans without ignoring the bad or the good. 

Jimmy was a really interesting character. Through Jimmy Oseman showed anxiety at it's worse and she wasn't afraid to show it realistically. A lot of books try to pretty up anxiety showing it in a way that may be more palatable to the reader, but doesn't show truly how bad it can get. And while I did find some of Jimmy's part of the book a little hard to read, as a sufferer of pretty bad anxiety, I can attest that there is nothing in the book that wasn't a real thing that many people go through every day.

 I worry that people will see it as immature and over the top, but the fact is that a lot of people view anxiety attacks as immature and over the top, because we're a society that values a tampering down of emotions and showing extreme emotions such as those that come in a panic attack or the other things that Oseman showed Jimmy feeling throughout the book are seen as immature in today's society. 

I also liked the fact that there wasn't one part of fandom that Oseman didn't look into. She showed the pressure of fame and how it can bring those in the spotlight a lot of stress and pain and cause them to resent or fear their fans. She looked at the two sides of fandom as a group, those that didn't care who they hurt and the ones who would protect the band no matter what it took. She showed the friendship and happiness that being part of a fandom, part of /something/ can bring and she showed how people can let fandom consume their life due to problems or worries in their own lives. 

I loved all the characters in this book and as always, how real Oseman's writing in. I hope you all do too. 

My thanks go to Netgalley and Harper Collins for providing me with this copy for review. 

The Truth and Lies of Ella Black by Emily Barr

Synopsis (from Goodreads)

Pages: 288

Publisher: Penguin

Released: 11th of January 2018

Ella Black seems to live the life most other seventeen-year-olds would kill for . . .

Until one day, telling her nothing, her parents whisk her off to Rio de Janeiro. Determined to find out why, Ella takes her chance and searches through their things.

And realises her life has been a lie.

Her mother and father aren't hers at all. Unable to comprehend the truth, Ella runs away, to the one place they'll never think to look - the favelas.

But there she learns a terrible secret - the truth about her real parents and their past. And the truth about a mother, desperate for a daughter taken from her seventeen years ago . . . 

What I Have to Say 

I didn't like this book that much. I didn't like the The One Memory of Flora Banks either, but that was written so much with that character's voice and her memory problems in mind that I wanted to give the author another chance. And I warmed to her writing style a lot more, but she still had this habit of going through everything that the character knows about the situation every few chapters. It may be fairly realistic when you're in this type of situation to stop and take stock of what you know, but in a book it makes it repetitive and annoying. 

I also felt the multiple personality/ dissociative disorder stuff was kind of harmful to people who suffer from that kind of thing. Whenever you see an alter personality in a book or a film or anything really it's always a bad one. And sure maybe that helps your story seem more dramatic if your character is pushing her to kill people all the time, but there are real people out there living in a world where that's what people think their condition means. If the market was more saturated with positive books or films then it wouldn't be so big of a deal, but everything out there just makes people more scared of the condition. 

I don't know how much research Barr did, but the whole thing felt clumsy and like she hadn't thought about the people suffering through this sort of thing.

As happens so much of the time, this book uses mental health issues as a form of entertainment for those not living through it and I'm getting pretty sick of it. 

My thanks go to Penguin and Netgalley for providing me with this copy for review. 

The Taste of Blue Light by Lydia Ruffles

Synopsis (from Goodreads) 

Pages: 352

Publisher: Hodder Children's Books 

Released: 7th of September 2017 

'Since I blacked out, the slightest thing seems to aggravate my brain and fill it with fire'

These are the things Lux knows:

She is an Artist. 

She is lucky. 

She is broken.

These are the things she doesn't know:

What happened over the summer.

Why she ended up in hospital.

Why her memories are etched in red.

'The nightmares tend to linger long after your screams have woken you up ...'

Desperate to uncover the truth, Lux's time is running out. If she cannot piece together the events of the summer and regain control of her fractured mind, she will be taken away from everything and everyone she holds dear.

If her dreams don't swallow her first

What I Have to Say 

This was a really interesting book that went in a lot of unexpected directions. I wasn't sure how it would go at first, but I quickly really came to like the characters and the school was so interesting and creative. While the school probably wouldn't work in real life, it was really cool to imagine. It also had this cult-like undertone that gave a good in-joke type vibe. 

The trauma that Lux showed was really intense. I loved how they gave such little pieces of information at a time. I couldn't possibly have guessed what really happened. 

In all though, it's hard to say much without giving too much away, but I just loved the atmosphere of the book and the secrets and lies involved in the mystery. 

Definitely a good book about trauma. 

My thanks go to Hodder Children's Books and Netgalley for providing me with this copy for review. 

The Flight of a Starling by Lisa Heathfield

Synopsis (from Goodreads) 

Pages: 320

Publisher: Electric Monkey 

Released: 29th of June 2017 

Rita and Lo, sisters and best friends, have spent their lives on the wing – flying through the air in their trapeze act, never staying in one place for long. Behind the greasepaint and the glitter, they know that the true magic is the family they travel with.

Until Lo meets a boy. Suddenly, she wants nothing more than to stay still. And as secrets start to tear apart the close-knit circus community, how far will Lo go to keep her feet on the ground?

Trigger Warnings: Suicide 

What I Have to Say 

I can't give this book a good review. I can't do that because it left me feeling awful. It left me shaking and scared and in a really bad state for the whole of the next day. So much so that I ended up having to miss my class and go home because I couldn't manage. I want to discuss exactly why at the end of this review for people who don't want spoilers. But if you have any triggers, be sure to check out the trigger warning above, because this book triggered me really badly. 

So one short paragraph about what I like for the people who don't suffer from the same stuff as I do. 

I liked the circus life and the characters a lot. Heathfield showed a really interesting culture that went on in the little circus and I would have loved to see more of it. Also, Rita and Lo were such interesting characters. I really think that if it hadn't been for the ending, I would have really loved this book. 

On to the SPOILERS: 

This book showed a very graphic suicide. It showed a character taking pills, including details like how many pills she took and all the feelings that she had while taking them in detail. I haven't been suicidal for a long time, but this book revived all of the feelings that I had back when I was. It was only for the short time between when I finished the book and I went to sleep as I'd stayed up late to finish it. But as I said. I was shaken really badly during the next day. 

I worry about this book falling into the hands of someone who's actively suicidal. The readership of this book is teenagers, who can be more susceptible to this sort of stuff. I know from the acknowledgement that this wasn't the authors intention, so I just really feel that it shouldn't be this detailed. 

This book has really made me question whether to pick up any more of Lisa Heathfield's books again because there was no warning for this and I don't want anything like this to happen again. 

My thanks go to Netgalley and Electric Monkey for providing me with this copy for review. 

A Tragic Kind of Wonderful by Eric Lindstrom

Synopsis (from Goodreads) 

Pages: 400

Publisher: Harper Collins Children's Books 

Released: 29th of December 2016 

How can you have a future if you can’t accept your past?

Mel Hannigan doesn’t have it easy. Mourning the death of her firework of a brother, trying to fit back into a school she’s been conspicuously absent from and struggling to deal with the loss of three friendships that used to mean everything. Struggling to deal with a condition that not even her closest friends know about.

So Mel tries to lock away her heart, to numb the highs and lows, to live quietly without hope – but also without pain. Until someone new shows her that it can be worth taking a risk, that opening up to life is what can make it glorious…

And that maybe, Mel can discover a tragic kind of wonderful of her very own.

What I Have to Say 

A book that you can sink into and just read without any distractions is always a good find. Lindstrom's characters both in Not If I See You First and A Tragic Kind of Wonderful are so easy to get to know and with both books I've found myself completely involved in their world in a way that some books completely fail to achieve. 

This is a book about acceptance. To gain any real kind of friendship or relationship, Mel has to let them into her life. She has to share her secrets and hope that they still like her after they find out. It's a struggle that I think many of us face in some way or another and so is easy to relate too. I also think the feeling of being watched all the time and having people hyper-attentive to your change in moods is another thing that a lot of people with mental illness can relate to. 

I am not familiar enough with Bipolar Disorder to say if Lindstrom has depicted it well, but the rest of the book, the characters, the fear of telling people and the feeling of having a mental illness in general was well captured. 

Eric Lindstrom is definitely an author I trust to get a good story from. 

My thanks go to Harper Collins and Netgalley for providing me with this copy for review. 

A Quiet Kind of Thunder by Sara Barnard

Synopsis (from Goodreads) 

Pages: 320

Publisher: Macmillan Children's Books 

Released: 12th of January 2017 

Steffi doesn't talk, but she has so much to say.

Rhys can't hear, but he can listen.

Their love isn't a lightning strike, it's the rumbling roll of thunder.

Steffi has been a selective mute for most of her life - she's been silent for so long that she feels completely invisible. But Rhys, the new boy at school, sees her. He's deaf, and her knowledge of basic sign language means that she's assigned to look after him. To Rhys, it doesn't matter that Steffi doesn't talk, and as they find ways to communicate, Steffi finds that she does have a voice, and that she's falling in love with the one person who makes her feel brave enough to use it. 

What I Have to Say 

Another wonderful book from Sara Barnard. This one is important for different reasons than her last, but just as good and, as with Beautiful Broken Things, it featured a very strong friendship. With this book Barnard, shows us that not only can she write beautiful friendships, but she can also balance them perfectly with romance. 

The main reason I liked this book though was that it is a fantastic addition to the brilliant collection of books exploring anxiety. It shows a girl who learns how to calm her anxiety enough to talk again through her relationship with Rhys, a boy who couldn't hear her even if she did talk.

Most of the books about anxiety have messages at their heart, a part of recovery that the book explores. With Holly Bourne's Am I Normal Yet? and  Sophie Kinsella's Finding Audrey it's about accepting relapses and the ups and downs of recovery. Louise Gornell's Under Rose Tainted Skies tells us that love may seem like a cure, but really it's our strength that gets us through. And A Quiet Kind of Thunder emphasizes the need to celebrate achievements, even if they feel like failures. 

Everyone, whether they live with anxiety, know someone with anxiety or even are just looking for something good to read should get this book. It is beautiful and pure perfection. 

My thanks go to Macmillan for providing me with a copy of this book. 

Haunt Me by Liz Kessler

Synopsis (from Goodreads) 

Pages: 400 

Publisher: Orion Children's Books 

Released: 6th of October 2016 

Joe wakes up from a deep sleep to see his family leave in a removals van. Where they've gone, he has no idea. Erin moves house and instantly feels at home in her new room. Even if it appears she isn't the only one living in it. Bit by bit, Erin and Joe discover that they have somehow found a way across the ultimate divide - life and death. Bound by their backgrounds, a love of poetry and their growing feelings for each other, they are determined to find a way to be together.

Joe's brother, Olly, never cared much for poetry. He was always too busy being king of the school - but that all changed when Joe died. And when an encounter in the school corridor brings him face to face with Erin, he realises how different things really are - including the kind of girl he falls for.

Two brothers. Two choices. Will Erin's decision destroy her completely, or can she save herself before she is lost forever?

What I Have to Say 

This was such a great read. I've read a fair amount of paranormal romance, but I've never read one like this. I'm not sure whether that's because there was a gap in the market or if I just hadn't read the right books, but I have to say that I needed this book in my life even if I didn't know it yet. 

Not only was it a really interesting concept, but the writing was beautiful. It was easy to fall into the voices of the three characters and sympathize with each of them. Erin especially was a joy to read. She had a personality that felt familiar and very real. 

The story was beautiful, a touching story of two damaged people trying to recover and heal and one dead boy, finding love amongst the living. It was dramatic, heartbreaking and just beautiful, especially the ending. 

I recommend this to anyone who likes a little bit of paranormal fiction.